The Sin Wagon Finally Dropped Me Off…
…a few stops away from my destination but, nevertheless, in one piece. You see, a certain friend, with all the best intentions, I believe, had waylaid me from reality with a certain trilogy of books pertaining to the color grey. These books, and a family trip to the ultimate den of sin, Las Vegas, have kept me quite occupied since my last post. I have been so engrossed with said books and family fun that I haven’t even opened my computer since my last blog post. I almost forgot my password and that would’ve been true hell.
I don’t know if any of you have succumbed to the riveting charms of erotic fiction but Trent and the boys most certainly have the mood of the Fifty Shades of Grey series down pat…
I must admit that taking a family trip to Sin City was much tamer than braving the conflagration of lust these books ignited. It’s a pity I had to go out and buy all new underwear due to the scorch marks. I am a shameful wanton devouress of romantic novels and erotic fiction (tsk, tsk) at times, and until I read Fifty Shades of Grey, Fifty Shades Darker, and Fifty Shades Freed, I thought it wasn’t possible for one’s panties to spontaneously combust. Urban Myth? Not any more. Good thing I found these nanofiber undies before I launched into book three:
It did get a little old reading page after page of sex, sex, sex but I did take breaks to go to the bathroom and to rest my hand…from holding the book, you gutter dwellers! I certainly wouldn’t want anyone discovering me like these unfortunate mommies:
Back from lustland and from all things naughty, unscathed and ready to bend my mind to more productive endeavors, I shall bench my vibrator for a few months and take up knitting or tatting lace and reading tomes dedicated to medieval agriculture. Wonder how long that will last? I do too…
“When once the woman has tempted us, and we have tasted the forbidden fruit, there is no such thing as checking our appetites, whatever the consequences may be.”
GEORGE WASHINGTON, letter to Mrs. Richard Stockton, Sep. 2, 1783
Who knew that even my nation’s first president was a good old-fashioned horn-dog? Somehow, I feel a lot better now. Thanks, Mr. President!
You’ll have time to work on your book now? Just askin’……..
Now that I’ve got the smut-fest out of my system? Yes! I’ve been away too long…it’s hard to get the creative juices flowing when one is preoccupied with lusty wishful thinking. Hahaha!
Gutter Dweller? Me? I’m shocked! Nay, even a mite hurt to be considered a gutter dweller! I dwell not in the gutter…….But it is a nice view from there when visiting.
The better to look up skirts? But it’s hard to get rid of the sewer smell afterwards, right? It took me weeks!
And trips through the carwash aren’t helping either. I think I’m going to take a turn as the “fly on the wall” for a while. View is quite impressive.
It depends on which room you’re in. You could be in a convent and that might get ugly!
That would be all kind of ugly. Although finding the hairyest woman contest would be even uglier methings.
Methinks you’re right!
I’ll buzz around you for a bit and drink your coffee while we smoke.
Do they make cigars that small?
Why yes they do. Or I can just take a hit off your cigarette when your head’s turned.
Just don’t get fly poo on it, ‘kay?
No no no! You realize that I’ll be peeking down your shirt, right?
You know the vista is perfect for flies. At least you won’t get double vision.
perhaps not double vision, but definitely an eyeful and a huge smile (and a cigarette with coffee too).
Man, why are the two Cs of life sooo bad? I suppose if i didn’t have a love for cigs and joe I’d have some other vice to take their place.
There’s always something that’s bad for you. And amazingly it always seems to turn out to be something we like. How does that work?
So, how long did it last?
(Guessing I won;t get a response to this for a few weeks…)
Good to see you Zen. And remember, lots of fluids. It’s important to rehydrate after such a vigorous…workout.
Thanks, guap, it’s good to be back! If it had been any other activity snaring my complete attention I may have gone into withdrawal!
And the water tip would’ve helped me with my flaming panty problem as well.
I have resisted the urge to pick the damn things up and read them again, so far. I hope I can remain strong!
Damn MZ, that Fifty Shades of Grey series sounds totally hot! And while I’ve read my share of erotic fiction – they do go over a lot better than a “reading” a copy of Hustler when you’re on a plane after all – I’m afraid that I suffer from the male predilection for more “immediate” gratification. The problem with being “a good old-fashioned horn-dog” is always having to limit who knows just how much of one you are.
Hell MZ, you’ve seen my other blog. I stopped trying to “check my appetites” (the imaginary ones at least) a long time ago. I’m just dreaming of the day when “total immersion virtual reality” – with the video helmut and full-body “real feel” suit – becomes an “actual” reality. And I have no doubt that I’ll be ordering mine from Amazon like the women in that video. I just hope the set is machine washable!
BTW, those scorched unies would make an excellent first addition to the “hall of shame” trophy case I’ve been thinking of building…
By the time i put the fires out there was nothing left but ashes…I will just have to read them again and catch the panties before they’re rendered totally unrecognizable.
And I love your other blog and plan on getting my fix of tasty tidbits again soon….I’m simply worn out!
Here’s to insatiable appetites!
I could just eat you up MZ. No, really! Lightly toasted, with strawberry jam… Yummy! And I’ll be holding my breath all while I’m waiting for those used undies to arrive too!
BTW, I replaced the phrase I was actually thinking of with “strawberry jam” out of consideration for your other readers. The second word of my two-word phrase-of-choice is “honey” – which rhymes quite nicely with the the first…
You naughty lad! How to reply? I’m afraid I’m fresh out of innuendoes to spare my virgin reader’s eyes. Suffice it to say I live in AZ so I’m already toasted. Hee hee!
Already toasted AND considering going red again? Maybe “strawberry jam” does fit better than “(bleep) honey!”
Never going to dye the nether-region so I will always have a clue that I’m just a sheep in the red wolf’s clothing! (wink, wink, nod, nod)
Really? Wow, what a gorgeous family portrait we’d have!
Tee hee! Love it!
“Unscathed”? Mores the pity! LOL!
That is to say, unchanged. I was already a dirty bird!
Yikes! It MUST be hot. My library has 62 holds on it at this moment…… could be years before I get to read it.
sigh
Your library needs more copies! And yes, blistering hot, like the weather here!