I Thought I Had Heard it All
In my span of years as a retail pharmacist I have heard (and seen) some doozies. One man was picking up his wife’s prescription for a yeast infection and I asked him to have her call me if she needed any further information. He said, “She puts it in her hoo-hoo, we get it!” (Hence my term for the vagina.) Another soul asked me why she was pregnant. I asked her how she was using her spermicidal jelly and she told me proudly, that yes, she put it on her toast and ate it every day. No lie. Another woman actually pulled her shirt up in front of a waiting line of customers to show me the rash under her breast.
I don’t have many adventures in counseling these days since I work in a hospital now but occasionally we fill scripts for patients being discharged who have no insurance or money. Yesterday, I had a real mind-blower and it wasn’t funny at all. Yesterday I had my first brush with adult illiteracy.
At first I thought the fellow was joshing me. I was counseling him on his prescriptions and he asked me for a marker. That’s not unusual because many people draw hearts on their blood pressure pill bottles or sad faces on their antidepressant bottles. As I turned away to find a Sharpie he said, “I can’t read.” I started to smile because he was a younger fellow, decked out in gangsta attire and he was sporting grills and I thought he was messing around with me, the stodgy pharmacist lady in the white coat. He said, “No, seriously, I can figure out some words but I can’t read this shit.”
My mouth fell open. I was thunderstruck, embarrassed and at a true loss for words. I gaped there like a fish sucking on air until I gathered my wits and said the first thing that came to my astonished head, “Well, I think it’s time to work on that.” I am an imbecile! What was I supposed to say? It’s no wonder he was in the hospital, he can’t read the directions or names of the medications he was taking before he landed here.
But no, he was as serious as a heart attack. He is one of the 25 to 42 million (the stats vary) adult Americans who cannot read or cannot comprehend what they are reading. And the US is ranked 49th in literacy levels amongst the 158 members of the UN. Astounding! We are one of the most powerful nations on the planet and yet almost 55% of our citizens cannot comprehend written communication higher than a 5th grade level. I read this essay regarding illiteracy in America: http://www.nrrf.org/essay_Illiteracy.html. Read it if you have some time. It points out some serious flaws in the way we educate our youth but I know there are other factors. Fodder for another blog at a later date, perhaps?
Back to my man. He doesn’t have a job, health insurance or a phone. He lives with his parents, has a daughter (she was with him and I fell in love with her on the spot), and a driver’s license; they gave the test to him orally. He has diabetes, high blood pressure, anxiety and is on some serious medications that could kill him if he doesn’t remember the directions correctly. And I was terrified for him.
I urged him to go to the sources of assistance that the social worker provided to him so that he could learn to read and take control over his life. I must have sounded preachy because he kept looking to the sky and telling me the Good Lord is going to take care of all his problems. Being an atheist, I wanted to shake him and tell him, “Your Good Lord is going to have you at his pearly gates before your time if you don’t get off the higher power high-chair and listen to those of us here on earth who are trying to help!” But I smiled, nodded and agreed with him because that was what he wanted to hear. One learns to do this when a patient is adamant in his or her beliefs.
I am not a psychologist and I had to get back to my other tasks but I would’ve talked to this man all night if that’s what it would take to get him empowered. I do not know how he has managed to make it this far. And I have a sneaky notion that he has no intention of changing.
I have no idea what will happen to him now. I hope that he changes his mind about god taking care of him. I hope that he wakes up and utilizes whatever he’s got available to him. I hope his family stops enabling him and helps to break the barriers of whatever is holding him back.
All I really know is that I don’t want to see his smiling face or his beautiful daughter in my hospital ever again, unless it’s for a friendly visit and not because he had to be admitted again due to medication issues. And I hope all my wishes for him come true.
(image from: http://www.coloribus.com/adsarchive/prints/anti-illiteracy-campaign-suppository-650105/)
wow this is one of those stories where all I can muster is wow. it says so much about poverty, about our school systems, about family dynamics, about self preservation or lack of…How do you reach people like this? How do you reach families like this? In 2012 how could an American citizen not be able to read.
It is astonishing, eh? Idk the answers. People will do what they want to. I would hate to be in that prison. And yes, in this day and age, how can this be? It’s bigger than me but I think I may get involved after my kids are out into the world. I will have an empty nest then and more time to devote to this cause.
However………..this made my day!
Another soul asked me why she was pregnant. I asked her how she was using her spermicidal jelly and she told me proudly, that yes, she put it on her toast and ate it every day.
So sad and so true! I think it’s hilarious but jeez, obviously she was not listening to anyone when she was counseled. 90% of the people I counsel just want to get out of the pharmacy and all they hear is blah, blah, blah…woe is them!
I must say, I wouldn’t know how to handle that either. I guess I’m so used to being a part of the Information Age and with a fairly decent grasp of the written word I forget that some people don’t have that, for whatever reason. I think I would have tried to help him too, if not for his sake then for his daughter’s. Wow…
Indeed! If he doesn’t see this as a problem then he must be on more drugs than I gave him. One day it may be the death of him but what can one do? The old adage “You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink” comes to mind. It broke my heart.
Very true. There are other similar sayings, all boiling down to one thing- you can’t change other people no matter how good your intentions are unless they really want to be changed. It is a sad thing and I feel for people like that who don’t seem to care. I always wonder why they don’t, or what makes them really think that blind faith is the way to go? What lessons do their souls have that cause them to do that? (Just one way of looking at it I guess.) I hope he does take your advice though and learns at least a little reading. Enough to deal with medication instructions would be beneficial by the sounds of it.
Why couldn’t he think that this was his god’s way of helping him out? Smh…I, too, hope that he at least learns to read a little and that embarassment won’t keep him from reaching that goal.
Incredible but sad story. I hope the man’s circumstances will change. God can only do so much, but hopefully he can catch a lucky break and he can begin to turn things around for himself as well as his child. We are our own destiny. Sometimes we have to fight to get to where we want in life.
I think he and others like him may have given up. Idk, I do hope this hospital stay was his wake-up call. I truly do.
This article pretty much sums it up-the sad,sad facts,people.At the risk of sounding preachy,as my dear friend thought she may have sounded here-well,too bad,we can laugh,shake our heads in wonder, but we all need to face this growing ailment in the (all powerful?)USA-everywhere…If you are reading this now,YOU have something to offer this man,our society,our nation…our world.
Even if it’s only our heartfelt support. Thanks, Gina! You don’t sound too preachy. I think it’s great you finally piped up here, sweet-potater pie! xoxo
From the category, “All I need to know about life, I learned from watching “The West Wing”: A deeply religious man heard on the radio that a dam had broken, and his town was about to be flooded. He said to himself, “I’m not worried. I’m a religious man. God will save me.”
As the floodwaters rose around the man’s house and met the edge of the porch he sat on, another man in a rowboat paddled toward the man, and said, “Get in!! Your house is about to be completely flooded!!”
“I’m not worried,” the man said, “I’m a religious man. God will save me.”
The floodwaters eventually forced the man to climb to his roof for safety. Soon, a rescue helicopter flew down and hovered over the man’s house as a rescuer lowered a ladder down to him.
The man waived the helicopter away, shouting, “I’m a religious man!! God will save me!!”
Finally, the man was overcome by the flood, was swept away, and drowned.
When he arrived at the Gates of Heaven, he immediately demanded to speak to God Himself. His request was granted, and he was placed before God.
“Why??” the man cried. “I prayed to you several times each and every day!! From the time I was a small boy!! I trusted you to save me were I to be in danger!! Why, Lord?? Why am I here?? I don’t understand!!”
“I tried to save you,” God replied. “I sent you a weather warning, a rowboat, and a helicopter. How many more ways did you need??”
My dear Gerbil, it seems to me that God has sent this man several doctors, a beautiful, impressionable daughter to do right by, and an incredibly intelligent, compassionate, atheistic pharmacist to try to get His point across. It’s his own ignorant damn fault if he can’t grab a clue to (literally) save his life!!
I was thinking of this exact story when I was writing this!!!! How do you always get in there, Murphy? Thanks for following me and your reply! I think he’s quite comfortable in his ignorant bliss and that he was trying to impress me because my hospital is a catholic-based facility. I should’ve stopped him right after the first “Praise God” and told him to stow it. Maybe being a hard-ass on him was what he needs but I can’t be mean to strangers! One never knows when “road rage” will hit and he may have waited all night for me to get off work so he could shoot me.
I am loving this! Just for the record,”Murphy”,has been known to have this eerie “,get into my head”affectation with me as well….Maybe SHE needs to be EXORCISED! LOL! I sooo hear your point with the kids-this drives me batty with my step kids,going over their homework,etc.This text lingo format has its time and place for usage and,like you,I feel that it is unacceptable for most situations outside of the actual text/conversation arena.I love our beautiful language,some may call me neurotic(my step children),but I literally cringe when I think of these principles bastardizing our lovely lingo,as you you so aptly expressed…Just hope,for the sake of my sanity,that the incessant,vile insertion of the word”like” will go by the wayside…and soon!
An “exorcism” would mean taking out the little TV antenna in my brain that allows me to tune in to the brains of my dear friends and know what they’re thinking all the time!!
LOL!!
I followed your link and read with interest, thanks.. sounds like a real log-jam in our education system. I’ve met a few people who couldn’t read,and, yes, it is a shock to find this out. One does wonder how these people function in today’s society.
And they do function! Idk how they do it. It amazes me…they must be pretty bright so it should be easy to learn to read…they are smart enough to figure out work-arounds. I think it’s a good deal of embarassment. And it’s too bad.
The problem I find, I work in education, not a teacher though, is that the younger generation tend to spell as they text on mobile/cell phone. CUL8T, WHERE RU, GR8, are just a few but they write just like that for essays, I’m thinking, what? The English language of today is not strictly English but an offshoot gaining its own generation of users.
Twitter encourages such change and to be honest I do understand, well some of it, other acronyms leave me totally bemused. But the illiteracy you mention is hard to believe in the land of the free (well freeish) and leads to all sorts of thoughts. He can’t read but has a driving license, so how does he read road signs?
The jelly on the toast made me cringe, I hope only she eats it, the toast that is, but there is certainly variety there in your job. Keep up this level of quality in your writing and you will be an online psychologist by default LOL.
When I find myself typing “idk” (like I did here in some replies) I’m just being lazy but I certainly don’t use short-cuts in my posts or formal letters, et al. I’ve taught my kids to be spelling nazi’s like me so at least my kiddos will write decently.
I’ts ok to use these as part of a cultural lingo but not okay to permanently bastardize the lovely language we have and get so lazy that we forget all the lovely words we have. I’d give all those kids an F and buy them a dictionary!
PS: Ha Ha Ha, wheniwasalad! I could use some extra cash!
Oh, man. Awkward. I would’ve said something even more imbecilic, though. So there’s that.
Nice recovery, though. Saving the guy, and all…
The problem is that I know he will go home and eventually end up back here. Truth be told, he looked a little stoned but i do too when I’m overwhelmed…I tried and hopefully I won’t have a repeat performance!
Go you for putting in the extra effort. I’ve worked with functionally illiterate people, and was astonished by their ability to remember things.
Hopefully his daughter will push him to take more responsibility for himself instead of just leaving it to god…
Indeed, guaporino. It’s cool to have faith in a higher power but even more stellar when you have faith in yourself first!
I worked with a guy for several years before I realized he couldn’t read. It never came up and he never did or said anything to indicate he didn’t know how. I don’t remember exactly how it happened but it finally came out and quickly became common knowledge. I love reading so I offered to help him learn. He turned me down cold. He never needed to read before and saw absolutely no reason to start now. He was perfectly content in his ignorance and could not understand why anyone thought it was necessary.
I have never been able to comprehend that.
I wonder if fear of failure got to him? I’m afraid of many things but a lot of them I’ve overcome. No one likes to be ridiculed so perhaps that was his biggest fear? That is too bad…
At the end of the day, people will do what they are going to do, or not do. You can’t change that.
As sad and frustrated as that may make you feel. Perhaps his daughter will be inspired by his lack and become something special?
Jim
You’re right! And I can’t change the world, but sometimes I wish I could at least one person. You should’ve seen that little girl! She couldn’t take her eyes off me…perhaps I inspired her? Perhaps she can kick-start her pop? Let us hope. Thanks for your reply!
Wow! You said so many things that Hotspur liked in this post. Hotspur is a fan. Visit Hotspur’s site for why Hotspur sounds like such a douche right now. But rest assured, he will stop sounding like this in just a few hours. Five, to be exact. Anyway, he is all about everything you just said.
Man, maybe he should just wait until after midnight. Sigh.
You speak in third person so beautifully, Hotspur!
Are you a football player? Just joshing! My daughter does this too. Maybe you’re a Leo as well?
Thanks for coming. I love your comments!